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2/22/06, The Valley Breeze, Cumberland, RI Civil funeral celebrants strive to reflect individuality of the deceased BY GEORGE BEAUBIEN, Valley Breeze Staff Writer CUMBERLAND – What to do when a loved one dies without an affiliation to a particular religion? Family members may feel at a loss as to how to provide a meaningful, dignified and spiritual farewell. As a certified civil funeral celebrant, Yardena Rand of Cumberland Hill offers an alternative to such families. It's called The Celebrated Life and is designed to provide a unique and personalized funeral service to celebrate the life of the deceased while at the same time acknowledging pain, the first step in allowing the process of healing to begin. Civil funeral celebrancy is part of a national trend, says Rand, who holds a doctorate in American Cultural Studies from Brown University. For eight years Rand worked as a senior executive in market research, profiling people based on information gathered from in-depth interviews and surveys. She has extensive experience writing and presenting to large and small audiences. She has written a book, "Wild Open Spaces: Why We Love Westerns," based on interviews she conducted with more than 1,000 Western fans. Such a funeral service is new to Rhode Island, says Rand, who believes she is the only certified civil funeral celebrant in the state. Civil funeral celebrancy, says Rand, was established in the United States and Canada by former Baptist Minister Doug Manning of the In-Sight Institute in Oklahoma City. After observing celebrant services in Australia, Manning brought the concept to North America six years ago and has since trained and certified nearly 1,000 civil celebrants. In September, 2005, Rand was certified by the In-Sight Institute and has since conducted about a dozen such services in the local area. "The process usually begins when a funeral director senses from family members that they may not desire a traditional religious service," says Rand, who has networked with local funeral directors to make them aware of her services. After a referral, Rand will meet with family members for two to three hours to discover all she can about the deceased. She will gather enough information to write a fitting eulogy and make plans to include stories, songs, and experiences that become part of the ceremony which can take place at a funeral home, in the home of family members, or at a park. Rand leads the service that usually lasts from 20 to 30 minutes; she will read the eulogy and include all the aspects of the celebration as agreed upon by family members. Although not a faith-based service, family members at times request to include religious aspects that could include The Lord's Prayer, the reading of the 23rd psalm or the Kaddish, a Jewish mourning prayer, or other religious elements. "They can choose to include any element they desire," says Rand. "It's entirely up to the family." It's not unusual, says Rand, for family members to request music that captures the essence of the life of the deceased, including such songs as Buddy Holly's "That'll Be the Day," Steve Martin's "King Tut," or Patsy Cline's "Crazy." Nor is it out of the ordinary to have family members request to bury objects such as cans of beer, cigars, a favorite whiskey cup or a lobster cracker with their loved ones. "It's entirely up to family members as to what they want to include as part of the service," says Rand. Many times, says Rand, family members distribute remembrances to those in attendance at the ceremony. "It could include a father's favorite recipe or a mother's favorite spring flower bulb, anything that, when used, will serve as a remembrance of the deceased." Rand, who has worked closely with the Curtis J. Holt's Sons Funeral Home in Woonsocket, says that the fee for her services ranges from $350 to $500. The price, says Rand, includes an initial meeting with family members as well as the writing and delivery of the eulogy and the planning and delivery of all other aspects of the service. Rand feels strongly about planning and designing a service that is truly unique for each individual. "Everyone's life is different, and consequently, it is vital that the ceremony reflect that individuality in each service that I conduct." Rand says she feels gratified to be able to bring an element of peace into the lives of those left behind by a deceased family member as they gather together to plan the ceremony. Rand feels it is both an honor and a privilege to become so intimate with and trusted by family members at a time in their lives when they have lost a loved one. "At the heart of a civil funeral celebration is the acknowledgment that a person lived, mattered, and left something significant behind," says Rand. For more information on civil funeral celebrations, phone Rand at 401-405-0178 or visit her Web site at www.thecelebratedlife.com Copyright ©2006, Breeze Publications Inc. Website designed by http://www.webwyze.com. |